


Vertigo

by AlixZin



Series: Alex and Lin [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, FosterDadLin, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Panic Attacks, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Character Death, Sick Character, Sickfic, Vestibular Neuronitis, twitter addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9071077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlixZin/pseuds/AlixZin
Summary: Lin develops a bad case of vertigo. Alex doesn’t handle it well.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VividEscapist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividEscapist/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Foster Dad Lin Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6616012) by [ohNooOOOOoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohNooOOOOoo/pseuds/ohNooOOOOoo). 



> This unexpectedly arose from a prompt by VividEscapist. I wrote it all in one night. It's more of an extended drabble then anything, but it's fluffy/angsty and I enjoyed writing it. This takes place about two years after "Where You Started"
> 
> Within the FosterDadLin verse created by ohNooOOOoo.

Alex is in his room, headphones on and deep in his writing when Vanessa knocks. He’s so immersed in what he’s doing that he doesn’t even notice until she walks in with a screaming toddler in her arms.

“Um…” He’s always found it uncomfortable anytime Sebastian is unhappy. He knows intellectually that it’s normal for babies to cry, but he can’t help but find Seb in any kind of distress upsetting.

“Sorry to barge in, I wasn’t sure if you could hear me over this one. Do you think you could do me a favor Alex?”

“Yeah of course, but….is he okay?”

“Just a really bad cold. Probably an ear infection too, but he’ll be fine.  Could you go upstairs and check on Lin for me? He mentioned feeling a bit odd earlier and went to take a nap, which we both know is not like him. Anyway, I’ve been hearing banging and stumbling noises, but I’ve literally got my hands full right now so I was hoping you could check for me.”

“Yeah of course,” he repeats. Alex does not like this at all. Sebastian and Lin are sick? He starts getting panicky at just the thought.

“Oh sweetheart, there’s no need for that face, it’s nothing to worry about. Knowing Lin, he abandoned his attempt at resting and is rearranging furniture or doing something equally ridiculous. Even if not, it’s still fine. People get sick. It’s part of life. Especially when living with a toddler.”

“I know it’s fine.” Alex doesn’t really believe that, but Vanessa has enough on her plate right now. She doesn’t need to worry about him and his runaway anxiety too.

Once Alex makes his way upstairs he can make out the moans and not so pleasant getting sick noises coming from the bathroom. Alex freezes outside the door, not knowing what he’s supposed to do. If their positions were reversed it wouldn’t be a problem. Lin always seems to know what to do when he’s sick or panicking. He wants to be the kind of person who can step in on instinct and return the favor, but instead stands frozen outside the bathroom until Lin suddenly emerges, leaning heavily on the doorframe. He looks horrible—hair all disheveled and eyes unfocused.  

“Alex,” he breathes. “Hey buddy.” Alex just stares.

“Yeah, bit sick. Did you, um, hear that?” From his demeanor, Alex can tell that he was not exactly the first choice of people Lin would have picked to catch him in this state. Alex nods awkwardly. For pete’s sake, he’s not the one who’s sick. Why is he so self-conscious?

“You might want to keep your distance. I don’t want you catching this too.”

With what appears to be a false show of health Lin pushes himself off the door and takes a few short steps, stumbles and falls to the ground.

Alex screams. Visions of his mother dying in bed with him and finding his cousin’s body after he killed himself flash before his eyes.

“Shhhh, Alex honey calm down. I’m right here. I’m okay. Still alive, didn’t have a heart attack. Just fell over.”

Here’s Lin lying on the ground sick and looking absolutely dreadful, actively trying to comfort him. The guilt of it alone is enough for Alex to get a grip on himself enough to push the flashbacks down out of his immediate awareness.

“What happened?” he asks, kneeling down on the floor with him.

Lin closes his eyes and braces a hand against the wall. “I’m just super dizzy all of a sudden.”

“Like, in what way?” His neurologist doesn’t like that word and once chastised him for using it since it could mean a number of different states. Add it to the list of one of the many reasons Alex hates doctors. As if it’s so hard to ask a clarifying question.

“It feels as though the entire room is spinning. I can’t get my balance and it’s making me nauseous.”

Oh! That’s something he can relate to.

“Are you having a migraine?”

Lin pauses for a second, seeming to consider that question. “I don’t think so. Nothing else is wrong. My head doesn’t hurt. Wait, you get this hellish carnival kiddie ride feelings during your migraines?”

“Sometimes.”

“Damn! You’re one tough kid. I can’t imagine having this combined with pain. This alone is bad enough.”

After taking another few minutes to steady himself (it doesn’t help), Alex helps Lin stand. Lin leans on him and relies on him heavily as he guides him back to bed. Lin is trying so hard to put on a brave front, but he’s pale and just looks miserable. Alex tries his best to push down the hysterical panic that keeps threatening to rise up his chest, and instead focuses on putting one leg in front of the other. The guy is heavy.

 “I’m so sorry pal. This isn’t supposed to be your job.”

When Lin lies down on the bed it happens. Lin’s eyes seem to become possessed, darting from side to side at a rapid rate that is so not normal. Alex’s renewed screams seem to shake Lin out of it.

“Alexander?! What is it?”

Lin should not be so worried about him right now. He’s the one he should be worried about. Something is seriously wrong!

“Your eyes,” he sobs, unable to stop himself from falling apart in terror. The panic has been fully let loose now.

“What?”

“They went all twitchy. It looked like a seizure or something. Didn’t you feel it?”

Lin looks temporarily dumbstruck, but then shakes it off. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“You need to go to the hospital!”

“Alex, I’m okay. It’s just a funny virus.”

“No, you didn’t see it. You could be dying. This could be a stroke or a tumor.”

“Hey, that was my line during your first migraine,” Lin jokes.

“It’s not funny!” Alex starts to cry in earnest, not even bothering to attempt to stem the floodgates. Nothing can happen to Lin. He can’t lose him too. Makes sense though. His Dad left. Mom died. Cousin killed himself. Of course, the one guardian since then that Alex has come to think of as a parent would get horribly ill and die. He’s cursed. It’s all his fault.

“What on earth is going on? Why do I keep hearing screams?” Vanessa makes her way upstairs, looking frazzled. Sebastian is still at her hip, but now calm and half asleep.

“Lin is dying!”

“Lin has a virus. Lin is fine.”

“Vanessa, he can’t even walk or stand up without falling over. He’s so dizzy he’s been throwing up. And something just happened where his eyes were twitching and moving around like crazy and he didn’t even know it. He’s dying!”

Vanessa considers them both, trying to find a middle ground between Alex’s obvious panic and Lin’s stubborn resolve that nothing is wrong.

“Well then, if all really is well can you tuck Sebastian into bed for me while I try to talk Alex down from this ledge he’s on?” She offers the now sleeping toddler out to him. Lin attempts to sit up, but quickly pales and sways, involuntarily reaching out to grab Alex for stability.   

“Whoa, honey I think we need to go to the ER.”

“No, that’s silly. This is just something I need to sleep off.”

“Lin, this seems serious, I really think- “

“No, I’m fine,” he cuts her off. “This is just some weird thing that will pass.”

“Dad please?!” Alex pleads hysterically. He realizes too late his slip of words, but right now he’s too scared to care. All the fight drains out of Lin’s face at these words. Both are staring at him misty eyed. They look like they are ready to have a special family bonding moment, but Alex is having none of it. Not when the state of Lin’s health is in question.

“Hospital,” he insists, ducking out of their attempt at an embrace.

“Okay buddy, okay. I’ll go get checked out for you.”

Thank fucking god. Alex launches himself at Lin and holds him close, sobbing into his shirt. “Please be okay. Please be okay. Don’t die. You can’t die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The eye thing described is nystagmus, which often occurs with Vestibular Neuronitis. It’s not dangerous, but often terrifying for loved ones to witness. Just google it. 
> 
> Standard disclaimer: This story includes the character Lin-Manuel based upon his personality traits, however I am in no way suggesting it to be the actual man. It's a character.
> 
> Also, it appears that prompting/requests can be quite effective for my muse, so if you have an idea within this verse have at it. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Alex's turn to take care of Lin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff after living in angst land for so long. 
> 
> Thanks to amv_5710 for the idea! I'm very easy malleable to suggestions guys, keep it up.

Several hours after making it back from the doctor Alex is still super anxious. He bounces around the London townhouse being Vanessa’s helper taking care of the two sickies. He’s a bundle of nervous energy trying to take on as many random housekeeping tasks to keep busy as he can. Finally getting frustrated with Alex constantly begging her for new things to do, Vanessa suggests that he go keep Lin company as he rests in the bedroom.

When he comes in Lin’s not in bed like he’s supposed to, instead he’s in a chair on his phone typing away. The phone is held way too close to his face and Lin’s squinting at it, suggesting that his vision his not at all normal right now.

Irritated at his foster Dad’s failure to follow doctor’s orders, Alex marches over and snatches the phone right out of Lin’s hand.

“Hey! Alex what are you doing?” Lin reaches to grab the iPhone back, but Alex backs away holding it out of reach. Lin would actually have to stand up to get it.

“The doctor said to minimize screen time.”

“Ugh, I know, but the mix tape just dropped and twitters blowing up. I worked too hard on this to miss the reaction. Give it back.” Lin holds out his hand expectantly, seeming to think that would be enough. Fat chance.

“No.”

“Alex…” Lin half whines. “Come on buddy, I’ll just be a few more minutes. Then I’ll stop for the night. Please?”

Alex takes another step backwards, holding the phone behind his back. Being this outright defiant is a little nerve-wracking, but still worth it. If he wasn’t so worried, Alex would be amused by the look of disbelief on Lin’s face.

“The doctor said not to.”

“Oh, and you’re such a poster boy for following doctor’s orders, are we?”

 Lin slowly sits up in the chair and leans forward, making an awkward and poorly executed grab for the phone. Alex easily dodges out of the way.

“You promised.”

“I did no such thing! I don’t recall making any promises at urgent care.”

“Nearly a year ago, before we came to London. You promised me you would take care of yourself and try to stay alive as long as possible.” The remaining color drains out of Lin’s face at this. He has him.

“Alexander,” Lin says his name in a thick Spanish accent, rolling certain syllables in such a way that makes it sound almost Hispanic in origin. Alex loves it when he does that. It’s become Lin’s secret code for expressing extreme affection. “You heard what the doctor said, just as well as I did seeing as you’ve been refusing to leave my side. This is just a problem with my inner ears. It’s a glorified ear infection mijo. It’s not even remotely life threatening. You really are worried about nothing. Now come on, give me my phone back.”

Lin rallies himself just enough to stand without losing his balance and takes a step towards Alex, ready to claim it back. He’s not quick enough though, since as soon as he rises Alex turns and bolts out of the room with his phone. Even when he’s out of sight Lin can still hear the clamor of Alex sprinting across the apartment. Alex is not exactly athletic, so he often forgets how fast the kid can be when he wants to be. Considering he can barely walk Lin doesn’t have a chance.

“Vanessa!!!” he calls.

“Yes Lin, are you okay?” she asks, sticking her head in the door in record time.

“Our ornery kid took my phone!”

“Did he now?” She’s beside herself with laughter.

“Yes, can you please track Alex down and get it back for me? At the very least I need to be able to check my work e-mail.” He’s sulking and he knows it.

“Oh, he is a boy after my own heart. See Lin, he doesn’t just take after you, he’s spiritually my blood too. Nice job Alex!!!” Vanessa yells out into the apartment before returning her attention back to Lin. “You’re not getting it back.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter serves as a epilogue to "Where You Started", showing a snapshot of Alex two years later.

“Okay, now retweet that post and add a blushing emoji,” Lin instructs Alex as the two of them lay side by side on Lin’s bed. They’d spent the last twenty minutes going through his twitter feed, Alex reading aloud from the tweets directed at Lin.

“Again?”

“Yes, again. Don’t make me take that from you and do it myself.”

Alex scoots away from his position cuddled up to Lin and perches at the end of the bed, ready to bolt if needed.

“Lin, we already established that you won’t be able to get it from me.”

“So just do the retweet with the blushing emoji. Please?”

“Ugh, fine! You are so weird.”

After sending the tweet Alex resumes his place pressed up against Lin and rests his head on Lin’s shoulder.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“About the same, to be honest. It helps to keep my eyes closed and lie still.”

Alex frowns deeply at this, the worry lines evident in his brow as it crinkles in concern.  When Lin opens his eyes for a second to check on him, he can’t help but think that Alex’s current expression looks a lot like the one he’d worn for most of his first week with them.

“I’m fine,” Lin tells him for what might be the 100th time that afternoon.

Alex just shrugs; now he really does look like that terrified boy who’d walked into their lives that November night. Alex at sixteen is so different from Alex at fourteen, but nearly two years down the line there are some traces that still remain. This close, Lin can see the thin scars on Alex’s bottom lip, remnants of the abuse he’d inflicted on it those first few weeks. He knows also that despite months of physical therapy Alex’s range of motion on his right shoulder never fully returned to 100%.

With Alex laid out next to him, it is plain to see that the height difference between the two of them is no longer so prominent as it was two years ago. Alex has grown quite a bit taller, though he’s still tiny compared to the rest of his peers. He’s still a bony, skinny little beanpole too, though nowhere near as skeletal as when he’d arrived. Getting Alex to eat and sleep enough still remains a challenge that they imagine will follow him into adulthood, but most of the time they have a decent handle on things. Most of the time. It had taken them over a year to get him to a healthy weight, his general reluctance to eat only exacerbated by his migraines, medications and near-constant illnesses.  As parents, it had been so hard to hear that their child hadn’t been growing and thriving in the way that he should, as if it were somehow a reflection on them and led to many sleepless nights worrying about his health. The moment where they’d finally hit the target weight at the doctor’s weigh-in had been joyous. And if that goal had only been achieved by giving Alex unlimited access to junk-food, well, Lin would rather be accused of being an overly-indulgent parent than a neglectful one.   

Even after two years, Alex’s nighttime ‘episodes’ haven’t fully gone away, though with time they’ve decreased from almost nightly to once every month or so. They’d eventually figured out that Alex was having nightmares that triggered vivid flashbacks upon waking, which more often than not led to panic attacks. They still occur at the same heartbreaking intensity as they did when he was fourteen, but the key difference now is that Alex recognizes them when it’s happening and allows himself to be comforted.

Alex still wears his hair long, some underlying anxiety they hadn’t yet uncovered keeping him from getting it cut. Even when Lin got his own hair cut short after his last performance of Hamilton, Alex still wouldn’t even consider it.  Yet so long as he lets Vanessa trim the split ends, they’d decided it wasn’t worth the battle. Lin reaches his hand up to stroke it now, down as it is from its usual bun, considering his next move. There’s more at play here with Alex’s current anxiety than just Lin’s being sick, but he’s not quite sure how to get Alex to tell him without seeming to pry.

“Alex, do you remember last year when the Hamilton cast all got the flu? First I got it and then because your immune system is the worst you caught it from me, despite V’s attempts to keep us separated.”

Alex nods. That’s his thing, they’ve discovered. When Alex is acutely stressed, he either talks a mile a minute, or not at all- there isn’t much middle ground. Present day Alex tends to veer more towards never shutting up, though the instinct to clam up is still there. Yet when Alex outright stops talking it means one of two things: either his anxiety level has shot up sky-high or he’s having a migraine.

“Vanessa stuck us both in the same bed to quarantine us and make it easier to care for us both at the same time. Do you remember what happened next?”

“I puked on you?”

Lin can’t fight back a laugh at that. It had not been so funny at the time, but in retrospect it really kind of was.

“True, but I mean the following day. Do you remember what happened the day after we were stuck in bed together?”

Even with Lin’s eyes closed to keep away the dizziness, he can feel Alex shake his head against his shoulder.

“I didn’t think you would. I was finally doing better and was ready to be up and about, but you spiked a nasty fever. I couldn’t get up because you kept crying and clinging to me, wailing that I was horribly ill. As we frantically tried to cool you down you kept insisting that I was going to die from the fever I no longer had. Do you remember that?”

“No, but…sorry. That sounds tedious.”

“You don’t ever have to apologize for being sick, mijo.” Lin can’t help but admonish. He wraps his arms around Alex to soften the blow a little. “We already know you’re good at giving us gray hairs with your health. I’m only bringing this up because I’m starting to see a pattern here. At the time, we just thought you were delirious, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

Alex tenses up in his arms and begins to pull away.

“No, come on honey. Talk to me—why are you so scared of me being sick?”

“Don’t want to lose you…”

“Yes, but why is it so specific to illness that upsets you so much?” Lin asks gently. He suspects he knows, and he feels bad for pushing, but it seems so especially relevant now.

 “We were both sick,” Alex murmurs into his shoulder.

“Yes, we were.” Lin isn’t sure why Alex is restating this fact.

“Me and Mom, I mean. We were both sick.”

Lin can probably count on one hand the number of times Alex has brought up his mother. They’ve slowly gotten to a point where Alex will occasionally talk about the abuse he’d suffered, about his cousin’s suicide and about the hurricane back on the island, but never about his mother. It’s as though the grief Alex associates with her death is at a whole other level from the rest of his trauma, something that to him remains unspeakable. On paper, one might think that the horrors the Atkinsons had inflicted on him or the mass casualties caused by the hurricane would be far worse than a single death caused by natural causes, but Lin is certain that Alex doesn’t see it that way. From Alex’s point of view his mother’s death was the worst thing that could have possibly happened, and that everything that followed was just details added on to that one horrible event that had turned Alex’s world upside down.  Two years down the road and Alex has never shared this story, his story, and now he’s volunteering the information freely. Lin stays silent so as not to interrupt this huge moment. 

“Both of us had really high fevers in the 105 range, and couldn’t keep anything down. It was like all the fluid left our bodies at once. We were both too sick to do anything about the mess, so we just lay in it together.”

“In the same bed? Like we are now? Like when we had the flu together?”

“Yeah… except… except she never got better.”

“You were there in the bed when it happened, weren’t you? When she…” Lin trails off as the realization hits him, preventing him from being able to finish that sentence. It’s horrifying- beyond horrifying, but this story is all too familiar. The whispered line from his show “and Alex got better but his mother went quick” repeats jarringly in his mind. Lin’s thoughts are in two places at once, and he has to struggle to force his concentration onto this Alex, _his_ Alex, the one who needs him right now.

“When she died?” Alex finishes for him before nodding miserably. “She was holding me. Comforting me. I went to sleep and when I woke up…”

That explains so much. Why sick Lin trying to comfort sick Alex had caused him so much anguish. Why he’s so anxious about Lin being sick now. Lin would be willing to bet it was also the root of Alex’s troubled relationship with sleep.

“Oh Alex…”

There really isn’t anything Lin can say to provide him any real comfort. An experience like that is beyond words. All he can do is pull his boy close and hold him. If loving Alex has taught him one lesson, it’s that horrible things can happen- the absolute worst-case scenario can become your reality- and yet life will still go on. The world keeps spinning anyway. That has been Alex’s short life in a nutshell; even after every horror imaginable has come to pass, he is still able to keep going, to find joy in little things and experience (what Lin and Vanessa continually hope to be) a relatively good life in the shadow of all that tragedy. What Alex has taught him is that things can still be okay even when they’re not. That the story of your life isn’t always going to be a good one, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less than someone else’s or any less worth fighting for. 

“Don’t you do that too. Promise me you won’t.”

“You know I would if I could, mijo. We’ve had this conversation before.”

“I know, just can you at least promise me you’ll tell me if you feel worse?”

“If I do will you call 911?”

“Probably.”

Lin laughs sadly. “Well, even so, I promise to let you know if there’s a problem. For the record, so long as I lie still I feel okay.”

“Good to hear. But even if you make a miraculous recovery, you’re not getting your phone back tonight, so don’t try convincing me otherwise. It’s well hidden.”

With Alex temporarily content with his answer, enough to go back to joking about Lin’s twitter problem, Lin is able to focus his thoughts on a different matter. With Alex finally revealing how his mother died, Lin has been feeling a flickering of alarm that has nothing to do with the heartache he feels for his boy, this alarm is for a more insignificant reason.  The story of how Alex’s mother had died is nearly identical to what had happened to the historical Alexander Hamilton. Their Alex had also experienced a hurricane shortly before coming to America, an event that was not listed on his DHS history, but that they’d discovered rather dramatically during a family trip to Puerto Rico when Alex had refused to go anywhere near the beach. All of these things together keep adding up. The shared histories was one thing, but when combined with their shared interests? Their personalities?

The similarities between the two are just becoming too great to be waved off as merely coincidental. Finally learning what happened to Alex’s mother is the final piece of the puzzle, and it confirms the thought that has been in the back of his mind since the beginning—that this child he’s raising really is the real Alexander Hamilton. Exactly how, or why, Lin isn’t sure, but this is turning into a fact that is getting harder and harder to deny.

Lin wonders if Alex is aware of this. He’s a brilliant child after all, an A. Ham level prodigy (because of course he is), and has seen Lin’s show, memorized the soundtrack and even read Chernow’s book. With Alex never having been lacking in the knowledge of his own background, he could have easily come to this conclusion long ago. In fact, during one of Alex’s many fits of rage, he’d once screamed at Lin that the only reason that he had any interest in him was because of his name. Once Alex had calmed himself down, Lin had been quick to reassure him that that wasn’t the case at all and that he loved him for being himself.  That still rings true now. The same conclusion Lin had come to the first time this thought had crossed his mind is still valid- it doesn’t matter. Beyond having to do everything in his power to make sure that this Alex doesn’t die young in a duel, none of it really matters.

“Lin, are you okay? It’s not normal for you to be so quiet and you just look… off. Are you feeling sick again?” Alex asks anxiously, pulling Lin out of his thoughts and back into the now, where his Alex is staring at him with his kind but worried eyes.

Alex really is such a sweet boy. Over time the Hamilton tendencies have come out more and more, to the point where Lin frequently regrets his early wish for the loudmouth, sassy Alex to take the reins, especially after getting yet another call from the school principal about the latest creative insult Alex had called a teacher. Yet at his core, Alex still remains the same sweet, tenderhearted boy that first came to them.

“Nothing is wrong, mi corazón. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

For a brief moment Lin considers telling him. He would love to get Alex’s thoughts on it and to see if maybe he could even jog some old memories loose, but then thinks better of it. If the thought hasn’t occurred to him yet, Lin doesn’t want to be the one to cause an identity crisis. Nor does he want the equally likely outcome of Alex thinking that the vestibular neuronitis has caused serious damage to his brain.

“Oh what, I bare my soul to you and now you won’t share your thoughts with me?” Alex huffs dramatically when Lin doesn’t respond right away.

“I was thinking about how you called me Dad earlier today,” Lin at last says softly. Though that wasn’t exactly what Lin had been brooding on right then, it’s not totally untrue. Ever since Alex had that slip of the tongue hours earlier, Lin hasn’t been able to get it out of his mind. He wasn’t going to bring it up just yet, but if Alex is going to insist that Lin share his thoughts, he might as well go with the safer, far more relevant option. As expected, Alex flushes bright red in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“You can, you know. You can start calling me Dad if you want to. Nothing would make me prouder than to be your father. I know nothing’s official yet, but it’s not like we have to wait.”

Alex makes a face at him. He’s never been good at sentimentality. Lin imagines that it’s easier for Alex to pretend to be above it all than to admit that talking about emotions freaks him out.

“I know that Lin. You tell me how much you love me almost daily, like to the point of embarrassment. I don’t think anyone else my age has a father who does that.”

“You’re saying that I’m your father?” Lin opens his eyes and sits straight up in bed at this, causing his world to tilt jarringly out of alignment and the room to spin, but he doesn’t care. Not when Alex just said that. He reaches forward to hug him, but with his vision being as messed up as it is, miscalculates the distance and ends up teetering dangerously close to the edge of the bed.

“Oh my god Lin, lay down! You’re going to hurt yourself!” Alex yelps, while pulling him not so gently by the arms back to the middle of the bed and into a prone position. “Jesus, had I known you were going to do that, I never would have said anything!”

 “You said I was your father.” Lin just grins dopily at him, not able to focus on Alex’s face with the way the room continues to spin, but trying anyway.

“Yes, okay. I’ve felt that way for a while now. That’s how I secretly think of you. Happy? Now for fuck’s sake, don’t do that again. You nearly fell out of bed, you idiot.”

Normally Lin would admonish him for that type of language, but in this moment, he’s willing to let it go. It’s been two years and finally he’s gotten Alex to admit to the relationship he’d felt with him after only a week.

“Are you going to start calling me Dad now?” Lin’s vision corrects itself just enough for him to see the scowl on his boy’s face, and the way it slowly softens as Alex realizes that was a serious question and pauses to consider it.

 “I don’t know…I mean, that is what you are to me, but… calling you anything different would feel weird. You’re Lin… You’re my Lin,” Alex adds the last bit shyly.

“And you are my Alex. You have been since the first week we had you, and forever you shall remain.”

Alex full-on rolls his eyes at this and places a gentle hand on Lin’s forehead.

“You’re not running a fever, are you? You’re sounding delirious.” Despite the earlier anxiety Alex had expressed regarding him being sick, Lin can tell by the mischievous gleam in his eye that Alex is teasing.

“No, no fever,” Lin says, while batting Alex’s hand away playfully. “I am the picture of health, thank you very much.”

“Except for the fact that you can’t stand, sit up or really do anything at all.”

“You’re mean.”

“Just telling the truth,” Alex says with a sudden deep yawn. He snuggles back into Lin and places his forehead lethargically against the crook of his neck.

“Tired?” Lin asks gently.

“Mmmm.”

“Did you sleep at all last night, mijo?”

Lin isn’t surprised when he feels Alex shake his head up against him. Alex’s relationship with sleep remains highly troubled, but at least now Lin has a better understanding of why that is.

“Any particular reason why not?”

“Didn’t feel like it,” Alex mutters sleepily into him, so that Lin feels the hot breath against his neck. Didn’t feel like it? Seriously, this kid can be a real piece of work. He’s an utterly exhausting child to parent sometimes, and yet Lin wouldn’t have it any other way. Life without Alexander Hamilton in it would be so boring.

“You can go to sleep, you know. The only thing you have to worry about if you fall asleep in my arms is me stealing your phone to log into twitter.”

“No, I don’t. I’ve got it locked and password-protected.”

“You really are mean.”

“What if I read more tweets?”

“Okay, less mean.”

“I’ll even do some replies for you, just no more that are entirely in emoji form.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to comment! My need for external validation is quite high.


End file.
